Intro and a Question

[fikgirl]

Hello!

Wow, can't believe I stumbled on this blog just by subscribing to the community promo. I'm glad I didn't take that one off my list.

I'm a 38 year old black woman married to a white man. My hair question (frustration? insanity?) has more to do with my daughter's hair. She's six (practically 7) and I've been told she has type 4A curly hair with tight They are quite literally the type that are pencil tight and springy coils.

Her hair is gorgeous, don't get me wrong, and everyone comments on how gorgeous her hair is. However, maintaining it is another problem. It dries out fast. If there's humidity, we're looking at being super frizzy on the top and back top by the end of the school day. It tangles easily, too. I have to wet it down to comb it or finger style it at all, and have taken to conditioning her hair every other night, just to get the moisture and detangling into her hair. (I only shampoo once a week.) I've tried a ton of products, mostly purchased online, and though I've had some luck with Ouidad's Krly Kids line and Curlz Coconut Dream products for kids, nothing works perfectly.

Her hair is not black hair, nor is it white hair and therein lies my problem. I need to find a way to maintain healthy curls, keep it tangle free and frizz free as well, and I'm happy to hear any suggestions. (Or any directions anyone can point me in.)

As an additional aside, she wants her hair straightened every now and then. I know that it's bad for the hair, but I did straighten it this past weekend. It took two hours of diligent application of olive oil heat treatment while using a medium-hot flat iron. Of course, her hair curled back up with no problem as soon as we added water (she decided she'd had enough of it in her face on Sunday night!) Is there any way to "safely" straighten for future reference?

That's also her in my icon with her hair professional straightened (blow dryer and flat iron, not chemicals) about two years ago.

This picture is a back view of her hair. The clearest I could get:



And a straightened hair picture:

Comments

[amadi]

I am a recent convert and now major devotee of the "rules" on Teri's Tightly Curly Hair Site. She, your daughter and I are all in the same hair boat, and you can see how long and healthy her hair has grown by following her rules which, in a nutshell are: be careful of your products, never ever use a comb, always brush with a good brush, never brush dry, brush/detangle with conditioner and never let the hair dry without conditioner left in it.

As for straightening, anything you do with heat, whether it's to dry, to straighten or to curl, is going to cause damage. The best you can do is to lessen the damage, but you can't make it "safe." Despite her wishes to sometimes go straight, I think making sure her hair is as healthy and undamaged as is possible (trim her split/dead ends!) for a few months before getting close to her with a heated implement is a good idea. The nice thing is that you have the summer to do that, skip the hair dryer while it's warm and that'll put her well on the road to healthier hair. (And when her hair is soft and her curls move and aren't frizzy or tangled up, she might not want to go straight as often, too.)

[zinaya]

I'm going to be in the same boat in a few years. My children are also biracial and my daughter's hair is starting to look like your daughter's. I wash her hair once a week and use my daily spritz on her every other day to keep it fresh and moisturized. The spritz I use is tea tree oil, olive oil, rosemary oil, and coconut oil in a water bottle. It helps keep her curls soft but they still tangle. My daughter is only 2.5yrs old but I was hoping she'd let me braid/cornrow her hair in the summer when she's older. I'm going to be at a loss if she wants to straighten it.

As for your question on safe straightening, going from my own experience as a teenager, I don't think you can do it without some damage. My hair has always been dry so doing anything with heat never helped me. I tried relaxers, flat irons, blow outs...none of them lasted long and it always dried out my hair. The only thing I can think of is using large curlers in her wet hair to give her large, loose curls for a day or two. It's not straight hair, but maybe she can do different styles with it.

Btw, your daughter is a cutie. I hope my daughter's hair looks like your daughter's when she gets older. It will be a pain to navigate a different hair type but it's so pretty!